


Sam Wilson, Avengers Wrangler

by crystal_rose



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Iron Man - by Black Sabbath, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Steve Rogers is a sassypants, Steve needs to laugh more, Tony Stark just can't catch a break
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5178356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystal_rose/pseuds/crystal_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam first arrives at Avengers Tower, he fills an important role; keeping all of these crazy idiots in line, and maybe hosting a couple therapy sessions along the way.</p>
<p>This is the dumping ground for all my Sam-centric oneshots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Wilson, Avengers Wrangler

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I have just recently fallen headfirst into the beauty that is the MCU, and I definitely plan on writing more for it. Also, Sam Wilson is a national treasure.

Three weeks after the fall of SHIELD, Sam Wilson found himself arriving at Avengers Tower in New York after following Captain America across Eastern Europe in search of the missing Winter Soldier. Luckily for Sam, even super soldiers need to rest and regroup sometimes, hence the trip to New York.

Tony Stark was accommodating, if annoying. Ten minutes of Tony and Steve in the same room resulted in a screaming argument, leaving Sam to his own devices.

What? Steve was a grown-ass man. He could resolve his own petty arguments, and Sam was hungry. So, off he went.

He had barely entered the next room, which appeared to be a home theater that could seat 35-40 people, when a disembodied voice nearly made him jump out of his skin. “Airman Wilson, might I ask what it is you are looking for?”

Sam looked around wildly for a moment, then remembered something Steve had said on the drive to the tower. “Wait, you’re JARVIS, right? Stark’s AI?”

“That is correct, sir,” Jarvis replied, managing to sound almost smug, “I function as a butler and majordomo to Sir, and I also run security for the tower. Is there anything you require?”

Sam grinned, “well, I could really go for some food, and maybe an update on my knucklehead of a friend?”

Jarvis obliged with an electronic chuckle, “Captain Rogers is still engaged in a debate with Sir, but it appears to be winding down. If you will simply follow the blue lights along the wall, you will find the communal kitchen, which is fully stocked.”

Sam quickly spotted the trail of blue along the wall, and followed it down the hallway to a massive industrial kitchen. For a moment he thought it was overkill, but he then remembered that Thor stayed in the tower whenever he was on planet (Steve _really_ liked to talk about the other Avengers while driving. Maybe he didn’t like the silence?), and with both Thor and possibly Steve living in the same building, such a massive kitchen was rather practical.

“The cabinets to the left of the door are filled with a variety of snacks, and all of the drawers and cabinets are labeled with the tools and ingredients they each contain. The fridge is fully stocked as well, and there is a list of where to find everything in the room on the fridge door. If there is anything else you need, simply tell me and I will have it delivered within an hour. Can I assist you further, Airman Wilson?”

Sam shook his head, "naw, man. I’m good.”

***

By the time Steve and Tony wandered into the kitchen, Sam had assembled a massive sandwich with roast beef, cheddar, and all kinds of veggies and was happily chowing down. Sam looked up as they entered, and gestured to where he had left the sandwich-making supplies out in an invitation to help themselves. While Steve began to happily put together the biggest sandwich Sam had _ever_ seen, Tony went to the fridge and pulled out a leftover pizza and began eating it cold.

“Dude, don’t you have even a microwave or something? Cold pizza’s nasty, man,” Sam pulled a disgusted face, “especially if it’s got mushrooms on it! Isn’t that a health risk or something?”

Tony ignored him, munching away happily.

Steve had slid into the seat next to Sam and begun eating his monster of a sandwich with gusto by then, but he paused when Sam finished complaining and joined in on the ragging. “You know,” Steve mused, “it kind of makes sense. I mean, he has a whole bunch of little bots in his lab that bring him stuff since he refuses to walk five feet. I guess he needs a robot to put his pizza in the microwave!”

Sam broke down laughing at Steve’s sass, and Tony looked both offended and disgruntled. “Ha ha ha, laugh it up, birdman. See if I repair that wingpack of yours, now.”

Steve chuckled at the mixed look of surprise and horror that crossed Sam’s face, and then returned to his food. 

Tony sat back smugly, sure that he had finally gotten one up on the Airman (now that he thought about it, he should introduce Sam to Rhodey; they’d probably get along really well), and returned to stuffing his face with cold pizza.

However, Sam wasn’t done yet. Tony had barely started his third slice when Sam started humming. Tony was fine for a few seconds, then he recognized the melody. The shocked and appalled look on his face set Steve laughing again, and Sam broke into song; “Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he bl--”

Tony tackled Sam to the ground, yelling about copyrights and asinine parodies.

Steve damn near fell of his chair.

**Author's Note:**

> So? I've never written these guys before, so please lemme know if they seem OOC. I just like making Steve laugh. He needs it after the madness that was the Winter Soldier. And don't worry, Bucky will make his way into these if it's the last thing I do!  
> Also, I'd love some prompts for future oneshots!


End file.
